10 Things to Say

This next portion is 10 things to say to one person–this one person isn’t going to be just one individual, I don’t think I have that many things to say to one person that I haven’t said.

• I don’t understand how you never came to me, to talk, to understand. Your lack of Christian love (which you claim to have) in this situation astounded me.
• I don’t like how your life choices have changed certain dynamics.
• You aren’t a good friend.
• I don’t understand why you disappeared…what happened to our friendship?
• I wish you could go one whole day without talking or thinking about yourself.
• Your mind is closed whether you think it is or isn’t.
• I wish we could be friends forever but understand why it will fade away.
• You blame me for everything without examining your own blame.
• You get upset at other people for the same things you do.
• Looking back on it now, how do you feel about it?

This blog was actually pretty hard to do and everything I had to say was negative–I suppose because I usually dish out the good stuff without holding back. I think most of these statements stem from hurt. It’s funny because as I was writing them, I was able to examine my own conscience.

On another note, I may participate in something my friend gRegor is doing. To learn more about see his blog post found here: The Return of gRegorlove.

Love to all.

Day 3: 10 Things I Hate

This is going to be hard for me, I can see it now. I don’t hate too many things, hate just seems so strong.

I hate:

• When someone takes their opinions and applies them to everyone/thing. It reminds me much of this song by Sara Bareilles, called “King of Anything” (see below). Everyone can have their own opinions but you don’t always have to voice them all the time about everything someone says.

You’ve got opinions, man
We’re all entitled to ‘em
But I never asked

So let me thank you for your time
And try to not waste any more of mine
Get out of here fast

I hate to break it to you babe
But I’m not drowning
There’s no one here to save

Who cares if you disagree
You are not me
Who made you king of anything

• Sticky anything–hands, faces, feet. Ugh.

• Putting things away. (Josh came up with this one–but I suppose there is plenty of truth to it–I hate unpacking, I putting clothes away–but I love the feeling after I do all of that business).

• Being thirsty.

• Being crunched for time when it comes to deadlines.

• Feeling anxious.

• Drama and will become a hermit if I’m confronted with it.

• Waking up in the morning feeling super sleepy.

• Regrets.

• Hurting the ones I love/letting them down.

Day 2: 10 Things I love

I love:

kisses on the forehead.

going home after a long day, getting in pajamas, into bed and reading (Harry Potter especially).

breakfast in bed (sausage & hash browns especially).

learning. I spend nearly all my time reading, studying or teaching (which I learn a lot from).

people. I like learning about people, watching people, studying them, they’re fascinating beings.

providing and nurturing. If someone’s hungry, I like to feed them. If they need a hug, I like to be those arms. An ear, I have two.

listening to the wind rush through trees, to leaves being pushed around and to the crunch under my foot.

discovering new foods I love.

finding hope.

feeling safe.

Day 1: 10 Things About Me

1.) I have really weird food habits. Sometimes I binge on different sorts of food. For a few weeks I wanted waffles all the time. Right now, I’m obsessed with beans, grilled cheese (with pepper jack cheese) and oatmeal. I have to eat certain french fries first and save others for last. I eat all of the half popped popcorn kernels. I like my grilled cheese burnt a bit. When I was little, I had to eat the biggest part of my meal first and save the sides for last, I would then eat them one by one. I eat the crust or outside of a sandwich first and save the middle for last. My oreos have to soak in milk and get soggy before I eat them.

2.) I hate socks and shoes. I don’t like it when my feet are warm. My feet are always cold and that’s the way I like it. Unless they are against someone’s warm body. Also, I think my feet are beautiful. I love my arches and my toes are in wonderful proportions. My chucks are my favorite pair of shoes and my socks never match.

3.) I love taking notes (except for History class). I like making lists. I keep a journal. I really like writing things down, checking things off a list and highlighting.

4.) One time, when I was 11 or 12, I jumped off the diving board at the pool. My head kinda went back and made my neck sore. The lifeguards called an ambulance and they strapped my little body down in my bathing suit onto a board. I was so cold and scared. My brother, who is 5 years older than me had run away months before that and I hadn’t seen him since. Shortly after getting to the hospital, my brother showed up to make sure I was ok. He always shows up.

5.) The occupations I’ve wanted to have: fire fighter, police(wo)man, journalist, nurse, coroner, basketball player, teacher and detective.

6.) My favorite drink is water. I don’t drink much soda, don’t like very many juices and it saves a lot of money when I go out to eat. A lot of drinks irritate my throat.

7.) Halloween costumes: Snow White (or some other Disney princess), Sonic the Hedgehog, ninja and a boy/gangster (that year, Kayleigh and I just wanted candy). I know I’m missing one of my costumes, but it’s escaping me now.

8.) I’ve never done drugs (marijuana included).

9.) I fear regrets more than anything in the world and I don’t even know why. We all pass away eventually. I hate looking back and wishing I had done something different or better. It’s one of the reasons I don’t like making decisions. I have sad and heavy regrets on my heart and find it hard to buy into simply learning from my mistakes/regrets. I don’t live a life without regrets because I know I’ve failed at loving to the best of my ability at times.

10.) I’ve been a creative writing major for four years and have finally come to love writing within a CW genre. While I know I have massive improvements to make with my poetry, I enjoy writing and revising. I really hope I keep up with poetry when I graduate and find some way to improve.

10 Days/10 Answers

I saw this on google reader and thought I’d try it out, it’ll be more than 10 days as I won’t be at a computer much this weekend, but I’ll try to post if I have time.

Day 1: 10 things about you
Day 2: 10 things you love
Day 3: 10 things you hate
Day 4: 10 things you want to say to one person
Day 5: 10 wishes
Day 6: 10 items you can’t live without
Day 7: 10 important people
Day 8: 10 of your favorite songs
Day 9: 10 ways to win your heart
Day 10: Final 10 words

Untitled Poem

In poetry class on Tuesday, we were given 10 words to use in a poem. We had about 10-15 minutes to write it. This is what I came up with.

The widow leaned against the kitchen sink
washing dandelion dishes.
Her throaty voice, quietly sang a hymn.
The branches on the elm, like baggage,
swayed to the rhythm of her song.
The fragrant saffron hung in the air
like unrelenting oiled hands. The sun sunk
just below the horizon creating a halo about trees
and a pink hue ghosted
the kitchen walls.

My Favorite Time of Year

Autumn always does it for me. The heat starts to wane, the trees start to explode with color and I get in this dreamy comfortable feeling. There are so many activities I have planned this fall and so many little things that really make the season feel like home.

This Autumn I have done/will be doing:

• Visiting Connor Prairie for The Headless Horseman and Follow the North Star Last night, Joshua and I went to The Headless Horseman event. When I was younger I remember going on something similar but it may have been in Bloomington. We were a tad too old for it but it was still enjoyable. We saw some animals, including baby chickens I got to pet. We also learned about movie makeup. We saw a hilarious puppet show and enjoyed a caramel apple.  Our night ended with the hayride through the grounds to see the Headless Horseman. I’ve always loved the story from Sleepy Hallow and the hayride was full of surprises. I look forward to taking my child on fun adventures like so. In November we’ll be going on Follow the North Star adventure in which you become a slave trying to escape.
• Last weekend, we went to Hartford City to their Civil War days. We saw Frederich Douglass and Abraham Lincoln. At night they shot fireworks out of the cannon. It was loud and beautiful.
• We went on an Owl Prowl a few weeks ago. We learned a lot of information about owls but were unable to spot any. We did however see one in a small nature park we go to often.
• This coming weekend, we’ll be spending four days in Brown Country camping with friends. We plan on hiking, exploring downtown Nashville and eating plenty of smores.
• Going to gRegor’s burn baby burn bonfire.
• Walking in, playing in and crunching in leaves.

Overall favorite Autumn activities:

• Leaf colors
• Apple Cider
• Camping
• Bonfires
• Smores
• Pumpkins (pies!)
• Hoodies (I love easing into warm clothes and how it feels to be just warm enough with a hoodie)
• Cool Weather
• Hay Rides
• Hot Cocoa
• Chili